Calamities and Other Disasterpieces
by Crittab
Summary: 17 brief ficlets for the community tv firing squad over on LiveJournal. Almost all Jeff/Annie, save for one or two. All are between 300 and 1500 words.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Calamities and other Disasterpieces

**Rating:** G-NC17

**Warnings:** None

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Community, yo

**Summary:** 17 brief ficlets for the community_tv firing squad over on LiveJournal. Almost all Jeff/Annie, save for one or two. All are between 300 and 1500 words.

* * *

Prompt by fluffyfrolicker: Annie/Jeff. Some days, Annie wears very short skirts.

**Too Little or Too Much?  
Rated PG-13  
**  
Up until about two years ago, Jeff Winger was a big fan of short skirts. He could write poetry about all of the wonderful assets of these particularly small articles of clothing and the benefits they offered not only to the wearer, but to the admirer as well.

Unfortunately, his feelings toward short skirts have changed as of late. No, they haven't changed because he's suddenly realized that he is no longer into legs (legs are still the sexiest part of any woman below the crotch, he maintains). Rather they've changed because he's suddenly realized that if he continues to appreciate short skirts in the same way he always has, he'll be forced to admit that he spends way more time staring at the long, creamy legs attached to his youngest friend than anyone in their right minds would ever deep appropriate.

It wasn't such a problem in their first year. Annie's always tended toward skirts, but it seems that her preference for this style has undergone some alterations since she returned for her second year at Greendale. The skirts are shorter now, and they're not always paired with black tights that make it impossible to admire the length of alabaster flesh from mid-thigh to ballet-slipper clad toe. Now Annie likes to go bare-legged as she struts around campus in skirts that Jeff's inner old man would call horrendously inappropriate, and for him, that fucking sucks. It sucks because every time he looks at those legs he can only picture one thing: slinging them over his shoulders and burying his face beneath the tiny slip of a skirt that only offers a pretence of coverage.

Yes, Jeff wants to lay Annie out on just about every surface he comes across, throw her spread, smooth legs out of the way and just get right down to business, and it's all because of those fucking skirts that she seems determined to continue wearing.

It's not fair. It's really not. What was once a simple pleasure in Jeff's life has now become a guilty pleasure, and there's nothing he hates more than feeling guilty.

Well... almost nothing.

He hates not knowing what's beneath those skirts just a little more.

End

* * *

Prompt by baller_annie: Jeff/Annie. Engaged/married. It's Jeff's 40th birthday, he's upset. Annie tries to cheer him up.

**Crow's Feet vs. Laugh Lines****  
****Rated PG**

Jeff stared at himself in the bathroom mirror, his lips curving downward. His reflection was not the one he wanted to see. The hints of creases that had licked at the corners of his eyes at 35 were now full-blown crow's feet, and his formerly brilliant blue eyes had faded to a dusky haze of pale. There were gray hairs now springing from his temples, and if he didn't shave away his stubble, parts of that grew in lighter as well.

He fucking hated it. This wasn't supposed to happen yet. He was only 40—he should have had years left before he looked like an old, withered shadow of his former self.

"Babe?" he heard her before he saw her reflection enter the bathroom. He sighed, leaning heavier against the vanity, looking closer at the wrinkles on his forehead.

"I should get botox," he said in a low tone. Annie scoffed and came to stand next to him, leaning closer to the mirror to examine his face.

"You look great," she said. He met her gaze in the mirror, his bad mood undeterred by the light still visible in her eyes and the way her skin still seemed to fit her face. She was so young, so beautiful. She was too beautiful for him now.

"You have to say that," he moaned. Annie rolled her eyes and turned toward him, grabbing his arm and forcing him to face her, away from the mirror.

"Jeff," she said firmly. "You're as handsome as ever." He scoffed. "I'm serious, you are. You're beautiful, and smart, and funny, and I am insanely lucky to have you—you, not this glum weirdo who stares at himself in the mirror while planning his future surgeries." Jeff made a face.

"I was not," he petulantly argued. She levelled him with a glare and he backed down slightly. "Okay, fine, I was... but only non-invasive stuff." Annie quirked a small grin at that and slung her arms over his shoulders lazily.

"Don't you dare let anyone touch a single wrinkle on your sexy face. If I wanted to date someone without expression I'd be with Abed." Jeff quirked a small grin at that.

"So you picked me because my face is two years away from looking like a road map?"

"I picked you because I love you," she said simply. "And a little bit because I have a thing for laugh lines." He groaned, but she just giggled and pulled him down for a quick kiss. "Happy 40th." He let out a small whimper and dropped his head onto her shoulder.

"Ugh, I'm old." She wrapped her arms more fully around him and kissed the side of his head.

"You're distinguished."

"Gross," he mumbled. She giggled and led him out of the bathroom. That was more than enough self-loathing for one milestone birthday.

End

* * *

Prompt by htbthomas: The Study Group decides what class to take together for Year 4.

**Studies... or Something Like It****  
****Rated G****  
**  
"Guys, I've already filled my mandatory modern language credit, and both of my science requirements. I can't take Advanced Pig Latin or Beginner Human Anatomy," Jeff argued, only half present as he split his attention between the group's planning session and his game of Words with Friends.

"Why do all of our classes have to revolve around your schedule?" Britta argued.

"Because Jeff is the only one on a strict four year schedule," Annie filled in. Jeff peered up from his game and gave her a small smile. She'd really started backing him up over the past year. I was nice to have someone he could really rely on.

"Fine, whatever. What credits do you still need?" Britta asked. Jeff thought about this a minute.

"A women's studies course, three social sciences, two maths and four arts," he riddled off. Troy chuckled from his corner.

"Four arts," he repeated. "Farts." Six sets of eyes landed on him, only one amused. Pierce offered a wheezy laugh and held his hand out for a high five.

"Okay, guys, can we please stay on task?" Annie asked. "We only have a week before the Fall semester starts and we still don't have this class locked down. If we don't choose now all of the good ones are going to be filled up."

"I propose we all take the new Sci-Fi course taught by Professor Klingon. It's called Star Treks and Wars: the True Future of Mankind."

"Are you serious?" Jeff asked, fighting not to roll his eyes at the inherent lameness of that suggestion.

"Well, I'm not sure if Klingon is his birth name or an assumed alias. It's a riddle I've been trying to solve for the past three years."

"Yeah, that's what I was questioning."

"I still want to take Can You Fry That," Shirley interjected. "I still don't know if you can fry salami." Britta made a face.

"Why would you want to?"

"Why wouldn't you?" Troy exclaimed. Jeff rolled his eyes and turned to Annie.

"Alright, this is ridiculous. Annie, can you just choose one, please?" Britta shot him a glare.

"Why does she get to choose?" He turned back to his game as he mumbled his answer.

"Because we all know she's going to be doing 90% of the work anyway, so we might as well let her pick the course." He raised his eyes. "That, and I just like her better." Britta stuck her tongue out at him, a gesture that he readily returned.

With no further complaints, Annie smiled widely and peered through the course catalog.

"Okay!" she said excitedly. "American Colonial History from 1609 to 1802 it is!"

A chorus of groans filled the room.

End

* * *

Prompt by teruel-a-witch: Jeff/Annie. Desperate but loving we-just-survived-mortal-danger smut("we are alive!"-celebration, if you will)

**What Could Be and What Is****  
****Rated NC17****  
**  
Jeff and Annie staggered away from the ruined apartment complex. She'd been in his apartment helping him study for his Economics final when an incredible BOOM sounded from beneath them, causing the building to shake, then shatter around them in a blaze of fire and rubble.

It seemed miraculous that all of the tenants made it out alive, although it was a long shot. Someone had set off a car bomb in the underground parking lot. The explosion had been large enough to take out several of the support beams from the bottom, pulling the building down under the force of its own weight. Had it not been the middle of the afternoon during the work week, chances are causalities would have been astronomical. As it was, though, only about twelve people were in the building at the time of the bombing, and each had been far enough away from the epicentre to escape with only minor injuries.

Jeff and Annie had stood where the cops and EMT's told them to and submitted to cursory checks for broken limbs and signs of shock. Both were given a relatively clean bill of health in spite of watching the walls, ceiling and floor of Jeff's home crumble around them, pulling them quickly to the rocky earth below. It was only by the grace of God and a well-placed beam that bore the brunt of the impact that they weren't crushed by falling debris.

"What now?" Annie asked, her voice shaking as she and Jeff wandered out to the street where her car was parked. She was thankful that she'd put her keys in the pocket of her skirt rather than her purse when she'd entered his apartment earlier. The purse was long gone beneath the crushed apartment, but her car and keys were still accessible.

"I don't..." Jeff let his voice trail off. He didn't have anything to say. He'd been checked for signs of shock, but he didn't have any other words to describe the way he was feeling, the way his heart was pounding in his chest and his hands were shivering uncontrollably. He barely noticed when

Annie slipped her car keys into his hand.

"I don't think I can drive," she said. He looked down at the keys and then back up to the car.

"Me neither," he admitted. Annie met his gaze and nodded slowly.

"Let's just get in and take a sec," she suggested. He nodded mindlessly and crawled into the passenger's seat after relinquishing the keys.

The two sat in silence for what could have been a very long time. Jeff kept replaying the scene over and over and over in his head. A block of cement nearly clocked Annie in the head as the ceiling gave way, not to mention the fall they each endured as the floor seemed to disintegrate beneath their feet. He'd had only one thought as the entire scenario played out: please don't let Annie die. That was it. Nothing else even registered. Not the fact that he was homeless, or that all of his worldly possessions (including his car, in the underground parkade) had been destroyed. Not that he was in serious danger of having a concussion. Not that his final was the next day and without passing it he wouldn't graduate. Nothing else mattered beyond the safety of Annie.

He looked over at her in the car. Her face was pale as a sheet and her lips were parted ever so slightly as she seemed to breathe more quickly than usual. She was still shaking, her entire body wracked with visible shivers, her hands clinging uselessly to the steering wheel as she seemed incapable of pulling herself back from the edge.

"Annie," Jeff croaked. She turned to look at him, tears brimming in her eyes.

"You could have died," she blurted out. Jeff's brow furrowed. "You could have died," she repeated.

Jeff barely had a moment to register her movement as her body flew over the centre console and landed in his lap, straddling him. Her lips were needy and insistent as they covered his and stole the breath from his lungs with their intensity. He couldn't even argue with her. If she hadn't done it, he would have pulled her over himself.

It was frantic as the two pulled away the articles separating them from being fully connected. Jeff's pants were undone and along with his underwear pushed halfway down his thighs as Annie's panties were pushed awkwardly out of the way so she could slide down onto him. Jeff wasn't even aware that he had an erection until it was fully sheathed within her and she was frantically riding him, her lips alternating between kissing his and begging him to give her more, harder, more, now.

Finally joining the moment, Jeff grabbed her by the hips and readjusted so he could push up into her, meeting her on each downward stroke. Each of them grunted and moaned as they came together hard and fast and desperately, their bodies now shaking with adrenaline rather than fear, their hearts now beating with need and not terror.

Jeff wrapped his arms tightly around Annie's waist and pulled her flush against him as he drove up into her, bringing her to her climax. Her hands clenched tightly in his shirt and she cried out his name as she began to pulse on his cock, drenching him with her release and pulling his out of him. Jeff pushed up into her twice, three times as he came, filling her and combining their releases to create something new and unique between them.

Annie continued to cling to him as they both breathed deeply, coming down from their mutual highs. Slowly, the shivers that had wracked both of their bodies subsided, until they were just holding onto each other for dear life, unwilling to let go.

Jeff lost his home that day. He lost every worldly possession he had aside from the tattered clothes on his back and the fourteen dollars in his pocket.

But he still had Annie. As far as he was concerned, he was a lucky man.

End

* * *

Prompt by teruel_a_witch: After his apartment complex collapsed Jeff has to move in with Annie, Troy and Abed. When the we-survived-and-still-have-each-other high passes, some issues resurface for the new couple. Annie is afraid Jeff might feel trapped and will start resenting her, Jeff is afraid he's imposing and moving too fast so they both start pulling away.(can be just Jeff's POV, don't need both) Troy and Abed are sick of their awkward silences and longing stares and somehow force them to actually talk things through.

**What Is and What Will Be****  
****Rated PG**

Jeff sat on the floor beneath the window in Annie's room, twiddling his thumbs and waiting out the awkward silence that he was convinced was Annie's fault.

After the explosion in his apartment, he'd gone home with Annie because he had nowhere else to go, and after having mind-numbingly amazing sex in her car, it seemed like a good idea. Besides, Troy and Abed were always happy to help out a friend, so it made sense that he would join this particular group of misfit toys rather than seeking haven on Britta's cat-hair infested couch, Pierce's mansion where every room boasted his portrait hanging on the wall, or Shirley's house with three screaming children.  
Of course, most things that seem like a good idea at the time rarely turn out to be.

Case in point, he'd literally spent the last two weeks falling over Annie. Yeah, they repeated the awesome sex a lot, but doing so in her floral-printed sheets with stuffed animals watching them made Jeff long for his now destroyed California King bed and slate grey sheets. He also didn't have any clothes for the first day or two and had been relegated to a pair of Troy's too-short sweat pants and an oversized Riverside High t-shirt. Finally, he was sick and tired of constantly being in Annie's personal space. If he wasn't already irritating her (as he suspected he was), he knew it could only be a matter of time.

And thus began the arguments. Jeff would say he had to get his own place soon, and Annie would say, "You can stay as long as you want," and then Jeff would feel halfway obligated to do so, and halfway disturbed at the way she was so eager to have him around.

It wasn't that Jeff didn't like Annie, or that he didn't want to be with her—he did, on both counts... it was just that relationships that started under this level of pressure almost always cracked, and he didn't want that to happen with Annie. He cared about her more than he'd ever cared about anyone, and if he had to spend another night sleeping in a too-small single bed with her, he would probably go nuts and say or do something horrible that would destroy everything.

And now they were locked in Annie's room. Locked, because for some reason that no one had ever explained to him, there was actually a lock on the outside of her door, and Troy and Abed had used it to force them to 'talk things through.' Jeff didn't want to talk things through. He wanted his own space so he could 'think' about things, and then maybe tell Annie the results later on.

"So..." Annie said from her perch on her bed. Jeff sighed and dropped his head into his hands.

"I need to leave," he grumbled. Annie frowned.

"I understand," she said slowly. "This is all too much too fast." Jeff sighed and lifted his head.

"It's not that, Annie. I just... I don't want to ruin this," he said quietly. Her brow furrowed.

"What do you mean?"

"It's just..." Jeff pulled himself to his feet and moved to sit on the bed with her, dropping his hand onto her knee. "I really care about you—you know that, right?" She nodded slowly. "Being together like this all the time... it's a lot of pressure, you know? I'm afraid of doing or saying something that's going to mess this all up, and the longer I stay here, the more likely it is that that'll happen."

"What do you want to say that's so bad?" she asked. Jeff frowned.

"I don't want to—that's the thing. But as you might have noticed, I don't have the best track record when I'm backed into a corner. I tend to say some pretty crappy stuff, even if I don't mean it. I don't want that to happen with you, because even if I sometimes act like a jerk, I really do want this to work out."

"But if we can't even stay together for two weeks without fracturing like this, how can we ever have a healthy relationship?" Jeff sighed.

"Annie, none of this is normal. We've gone from having our own space and room to think to literally being on top of each other 24/7, and new relationships just don't work that way. We have to lead up to this level of commitment, otherwise it won't work. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?" Annie looked up at him with a slightly sad expression.

"Do you think if you have your own space you're going to want me in it?"

"Yes! Of course I will," he exclaimed. He turned toward her more fully, taking both of her hands in his. "Annie, I care about you so much. I need this to work out, because I honestly don't know what I would do without you. Trust me, babe. I'm in this, all the way." Her lips curved upward slightly.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive," he said firmly. "And I'll be even more sure when I'm not living with the Wonder Twins anymore." Annie giggled lightly.

"Alright," she allowed. "Let's get you the hell out of here."

End

* * *

Prompt by ayadec: Jeff/Annie - 25 years in the future through the eyes of their eldest daughter.

**Everything****  
****Rated G****  
**  
Technically this is my day. My new husband, Kevin, is dancing with his mother while I sit back and enjoy a glass of wine and a few quiet moments to myself. Today has been an absolute dream. An insane dream, yes, but a dream nonetheless.

Planning my wedding was a feat. My mother, Annie Edison-Winger is a planner through and through, while my father, Jeff Winger, would rather not know anything about the process. The whole time all he said was, "Just give me the bill. That's all I care about."

Of course, that was a lie. I realized it was a lie when he came with me instead of Mom to pick out my wedding dress. My dad is not a touchy-feely, show-your-emotions-to-the-world type. He's rather stoic, very sarcastic and hardly ever gets emotional. Prior to this whole wedding thing, I've only ever seen him get emotional once, and that was when his mother died. Every other time he's just reacted with a wink and a nudge.

But that dress... I'll be damned if he didn't tear up. And of course, the moment he teared up and told me I looked beautiful, I burst into tears. I'm nothing if not my mother's daughter.

That was one of just two times during this process that he's gotten emotional. The other time was this afternoon as I listened to Kevin say his vows. I peeked out into the audience and saw him sitting there, holding Mom's hand, with tears glistening in his eyes and one sliding down his cheek.

If anyone asks, I'll tell them I was crying over the beauty of Kevin's vows. In truth, I was crying because he was. Because when Dad cries, I cry, and there's just no way around that.

I peeked over at my mom when I realized Dad was a lost cause. She was a little misty—but her smile was radiant. It always is. I don't think I've ever met a woman more stunningly beautiful than my mother.

Annie Edison-Winger is a strong woman. She is everything I aspire to be and everything I hope my future daughters become. She's smart, and elegant, and beautiful, and funny, and tough, and she doesn't take crap from anybody. She puts my dad in his place, and he goes because nobody disappoints my mother. Not unless they want to be subjected to the Disney eyes.

Dad says she used to use those against him back when they first met. I don't doubt it. When you have a weapon that powerful, you use it.

I think the thing I love most about both of my parents, though, is the way they are together. They are sweet and sour combined. My mother is the definition of wonderful, so full of joy and vitality. My dad lives and dies by his witticisms, and takes incredible pleasure in driving me and my mom up the wall. But together, they just seem so happy. When they think no-one is looking they'll sneak a kiss or a hug. When they walk down the street they hold hands. When they watch movies, Mom lays her head on Dad's shoulder and they snuggle.

They're everything I want to be with Kevin 25 years from now. Hell, they're everything I want to be with Kevin today.

They're just everything.

End

* * *

Prompt by eleventhimpala: Jeff and Annie are married, and Jeff is a lawyer again (Alan was lying about Ted dying). Annie accompanies Jeff to a party for the firm and tries to mingle with the female lawyers.

Unfortunately, they all assume that she's merely Jeff's brainless trophy wife and act accordingly (ranging from well-meaning condescension to sneering disdain). Annie puts them in their place.

**The Tanorexic Twins****  
****Rated PG****  
**  
Annie looked around the room that seemed to shimmer with opulence and moral ineptitude. The hotel lobby was all gold with mahogany finishes and mirrors, showering everything with a glow that made the women look like statues of pure bronze and the men like visions of Adonis—even the unattractive ones.

Or maybe it was all just her perception. It was the perception she'd grown into over the past three years as Jeff's girlfriend and now wife. These parties were always the same. She was always looked down upon, one 'trophy wife' trying to one-up another, casting glances of disdain at every sliver of fresh meat.

As Jeff led her into the ballroom with a hand on her lower back, he whispered in her ear that he would find them some champagne and left her side. She looked around and immediately spotted the Tanorexic Twins—that was the name she'd given to Ted and his partner Lou's wives. Both women were about 50, but after years of sun damage they could both easily pass for 65. Their wrinkles were pronounced all the more by the layers of spray tan that painted them an orange hue; a hue they always set off with bright and ostentatious cocktail dresses.

They spotted her the moment she entered the room, pale and sporting a natural glow that neither had ever been able to achieve. The Tanorexic Twins hated Annie, and let her know it every time she attended one of these events with Jeff.

Annie hung back by the door waiting for Jeff, trying to ignore the women who had honed in on her the moment she arrived and were now winding their way through the crowd to see her.

"Mrs. Winger," one said in a faux New Hampshire accent (she was from Jersey). Annie offered a tight smile.

"It's still Mrs. Edison, Jacqueline," she reminded the woman. She received a look from the woman that could have passed as the face of someone who had smelled something particularly awful.

"Oh, that's right," said the other woman. "You didn't take your husband's name. Was the diamond not big enough?" The woman peered down at Annie's left ring finger, sizing up the dainty gold band with its reasonably sized jewel.

"Maria," Annie greeted tightly. She looked around. Where the Hell was Jeff?

"Oh, I think I spotted Jeff chatting with Alan and his date," Jacqueline said, noticing Annie's desperately searching eyes. "That young woman is quite the catch, don't think Maria? Very well suited to a man of Alan's stature." Annie ground her teeth.

"Oh she absolutely is, Jacqueline. And have you seen the rock on her finger? I didn't know Alan was such a connoisseur of diamonds."

"Well he'd have to be to lock down a woman like that. It's no wonder he seems so taken with her. Why, all of the men here seem to be—even Jeff!" Annie bit her tongue at that. She knew the women were trying to get a rise out of her.

"How could he not be? Did you see the body on that woman? She's gorgeous, and you know before Annie came along, Jeff always did have a thing for blondes."

"Well you know what they say: a leopard can't change his spots."

"No he can't," Maria agreed. "Especially not with a woman so beautiful in the room. I'm guessing everyone else has just faded away at this point."

"I know what you're doing," Annie cut in. The two women stopped their incessant chatter and turned back to her.

"And what are we doing, dear?" Annie rolled her eyes.

"The same thing you do every time I come to one of these events. For the last time, Jeff is my husband and we're together because we love each other, not because of the size of my ring, or the way I look, or what colour my goddamn hair is!" Both women watched her with looks of surprise as she finished her spiel, just in time for Jeff to reach them with two glasses of champagne.

"Hello ladies," he greeted as he passed Annie her glass. He leaned in and placed a small kiss to her temple. "Good chat?" Annie smiled and looked up at him, leaning in to give him a quick kiss on the lips.

"The best," she said with a smile.

"What do you say we go take a walk outside," Jeff suggested. "The view from the balcony is beautiful here."  
Annie cast a slightly smug grin back at the Tanorexic Twins as she and Jeff walked away from them, Jeff's hand slipping around her waist and holding her close as they went.

"Where is the Hell is Ted?" asked Jacqueline.

"He and Lou are talking to Alan's fiancée."

End

* * *

Prompt by **funkapus**: T/B and J/As secret relationships are exposed when the pairs bump into each other at a restaurant two towns over.

**Plans vs. Reality****  
****Rated G****  
**  
"Seriously, Annie, is this really necessary?" Jeff asked as he pulled into the restaurant parking lot. They'd driven 45 minutes just to get there.

"Jeff, we agreed to keep this a secret for now, so I'm just doing my due diligence to ensure that happens," she said, pulling herself out of his Lexus. The two had been dating for about a month, and had chosen to keep it a secret from the group so they could just enjoy each other before all hell broke loose.

"I just don't see why we have to go all the way to Boulder to get dinner," he argued. He locked the car and met her on her side, grabbing her hand and walking with her into the restaurant.

"Because there's no way we're going to get caught out here," Annie insisted. "If you're going to do something, don't do it half way." Jeff rolled his eyes.

"I guess this is what I get for dating a perfectionist." Annie smiled up at him, her blue eyes glistening in the moonlight, making Jeff feel slightly better about their current circumstance. He pulled open the door and held it for her as she entered the building.

Their relationship had been wonderful for the first month. Jeff was still getting the hang of the whole boyfriend thing, but they'd always been able to work around each other's flaws. Annie and Jeff were good at not letting fights and misunderstandings get the best of them, which led to a lot of great things now that they'd finally admitted their feelings and were moving forward.

As they each sat down at the table, Annie picked up her menu and took a cursory glance around the room before settling into it. She liked to take in the decor of the restaurants they visited—it was a strange little habit she'd picked up from her mother who was always critiquing public places.

And then she spotted something amiss, and dropped her head quickly behind her menu with a gasp.

"What's going on?" Jeff asked, unconsciously dropping his head too.

"Britta and Troy are here!" she whisper-exclaimed. Jeff's eyes widened and he raised his head to look. "Don't look! They'll see you!" she yanked him back down by his tie. Jeff rolled his eyes.

"Look, Annie, we're not going to eat the entire meal hiding behind our menus. I'd say the jig is up." Annie's eyes widened.

"Not if we leave before they see us," she suggested, grabbing her purse. Jeff rolled his eyes and sat up, peering over to the table a few feet from there own where Britta and Troy were clearly in their own little world.

"Let me guess," he said, projecting a little louder. Their two friends started and looked at him. Troy tried to hide behind his own menu as Annie was, but Britta gave him a swat upside the head. "You're trying to keep this a secret and someone brilliant thought Boulder was the place to do it," he suggested. Britta stumbled a moment for an answer, before breaking out into laughter, which Jeff eagerly joined.

Annie and Troy eventually dropped their menus, and watched as their respective significant others lost their minds. Eventually, all four were laughing at the way their plans had converged and simultaneously failed.

When they left the restaurant that night, each was halfway relieved to finally be able to tell some of their friends about their new and exciting relationships.

They also decided it would probably still be a bad idea to tell Shirley.

End


	2. Chapter 2

Prompt by _carly_: Annie and Jeff recycle some costumes for the college's 'end of summer school dress-up party' (Glee Club 'Santa' dress & Ricky Nightshade). They both like what they see...

**Year in Review****  
****Rated PG-13**

"This is either the best or worst idea Britta has ever had," Jeff thought to himself as Annie finally emerged from her bedroom. The group, after a long, tumultuous summer was in desperate need of a good drunkfest, and Britta being Britta decided the best way to do that would be to have a "Reflection Party," where they each embodied one of their weird adventures from the year before in an attempt to 'heal them of the bad feelings that go along with those memories.'

The results were as follows:

- Abed was dressed as Batman

- Troy was dressed as an Astronaut making paninis

- Pierce was wearing a wig made of ivory and a pasted-on white goatee

- Britta was dressed as Michael Jackson

- Shirley was wearing her wedding dress (the one she never actually got to wear)

- Jeff was dressed as Ricky Nightshade, complete with tight leather pants, a fake tattoo and a black wig

- And Annie... well... Annie was dressed as the sexiest version of Santa Claus Jeff had ever had the fortune and misfortune of witnessing

And his pants were way too tight for him to hide his natural reaction to that outfit.

The evening quickly devolved into drunken slobbering for most of them. Shirley, not drinking, left early, along with Pierce who was tired by 7 p.m. Britta fawned over Troy more and more as she continued to drink, and eventually the two were making out unabashedly on the blow-up sofa while Abed recited lines of dialogue from about twelve movies to himself in the mirror.

That left just Jeff and Annie, sitting at the kitchen table doing shots and getting more and more ridiculous as time went on.

"You should never be allowed to wear something like that," Jeff slurred, pointing directly at Annie's cleavage. Annie scoffed.

"Well neither should you, with all your abs and pecs and arms and..." her sentence devolved into giggles.

"Sing me a song about Christmas," Jeff suggested. Annie threw back another shot.

"Pull out your light saber!" she exclaimed. Jeff pulled himself up from his chair shakily and held his hand out to Annie.

"Come teach me about holiday tradition," he said. Annie let him pull her up, but stumbled against him, the exposed skin on her chest coming in full contact with his.

And then they were awkwardly falling over each other, stumbling and half-making out as they wandered toward Annie's bedroom.

Both were out like a light as soon as their heads touched the pillows.

End

* * *

Prompt by ayadec: Annie takes Jeff to her 10 year high school reunion (maybe they are married or engaged). Jeff meets some of the people who were awful to Annie while she was in high school. How does he react and what does he do? (You can decide if Troy, Troy and Britta, or Troy and Abed are at the event as well.)

**Magic Moments****  
****Rated PG**

Jeff looked around the room full of people all at least 13 years younger than himself, save for a precious few older spouses of Annie and Troy's graduating class. He knew when he married Annie two years earlier that he would have to put up with some stuff, but he honestly had never envisioned himself standing in the gymnasium of Riverside High surrounded by a bunch of people who were still children when he was getting his law degree.

He looked over at his wife and amended that statement in his mind.

He just hadn't envisioned being here, at her high school reunion. She'd been so adamant as long as he had known her about how awful high school had been that he had expected her to throw out the invitation when it arrived in the mail— and she almost had—but then Troy called her up all excited about it, practically begging her to attend, and then Annie affixed Jeff with a lethal version of the Disney eyes, and suddenly he was there, surrounded by a sea of 28 year olds mingling with people they hadn't bothered to keep in touch with.

He and Annie stuck pretty close to Troy and Britta, all four having arrived together. They figured there was strength in numbers, and Britta and Jeff had pre-planned one of them getting a headache after about an hour so they could leave early.

"T-BONE!" Jeff cringed internally as some guy approached the group. He and Troy did some bizarre ritual that made him want to die a little on the inside.

"Kyle, man, what's up!" Troy exclaimed.

Unfortunately, this Kyle guy's outburst alerted a couple other people of Troy's presence, and suddenly a hoard of douchebags descended on the foursome.

"Hey guys," Troy greeted, fist bumping and hugging several from the group. This was clearly the popular team from high school. If their general look and demeanor didn't make it clear enough, Annie visibly shrinking in on herself would have done the trick.

"You guys remember Annie Edison?" Troy asked, pointing her out. Jeff saw her stiffen at his side, and then plaster the fakest smile on her face that he'd ever witnessed.

"Annie Edison?" asked one of the girls, clearly confused.

"He means Annie Adderol," another clarified, looking Annie up and down with clear disdain. Annie let out a small sigh, but maintained her smile.

"Actually it's Annie Winger now," Annie corrected. The girl huffed.

"Whatever you say," she said. "What's the hubby up to tonight? Giving BJ's for dope?" A small group of girls giggled at the lame attempt at a joke, and Jeff felt the hair on his neck stand up. These women hadn't even seen Annie in ten years and they were already sliding back into old habits. He couldn't only imagine how bad things had been for her in high school. He stepped forward.

"Actually I'm taking the night off," he interjected. All of the women looked at him, startled. He held out his hand, "Jeff Winger, attorney." He noticed a small smile playing on Annie's lips.

"Jeff, was it?" asked the woman who had just insulted Annie, in a clearly flirtatious manner. "I'm Brenda Boutilier," she said, taking his hand. Jeff pulled his away from the shake quickly, his brain running a mile a minute.

"That name sounds familiar," he said. He thought on it. "Was my partner Tony Lewis your divorce lawyer?" The woman's grin slid away as Annie's grew and grew.

She was the first and last person to pick on Jeff's woman at that particular reunion.

End

* * *

Prompt by lsw700: The study group goes to Scotland. Troy wants to search for the Loch Ness Monster.

**Nessie****  
****Rated G**

"Guys, I told you, I've seen documentaries about this, I know how to track her!" Troy exclaimed. The seven members of the study group were all in a small, rickety Zodiac boat that Troy had rented from a local company (Jeff wasn't even sure it was legal to rent out Zodiacs, but Troy insisted everything was above board). Troy was attempting to operate the boat, and had stalled out the motor at least six times since the group left shore.

"According to your map we should be in the general vicinity of the most recent sighting," Abed offered. He was the only one really humoring Troy at this point.

When the group decided to take a trip to Scotland during spring break of their final year at Greendale, none of them had had this particular adventure in mind. Annie kind of thought they'd get to tour some of the magnificent old castles, Britta was interested in the locations of major political and religious movements in Scotland's history and Jeff just wanted to drink as much pure, premium Scotch as he could possibly get his hands on.

But the group had made the colossal mistake of leaving the travel plans in Troy and Abed's hands. It wasn't until they arrived that they realized they weren't headed to Glasgow or Edinburgh, they were headed to Inverness, more than three hours from any of the places they'd actually been interested in visiting.

And they were there to track the Loch Ness Monster.  
Jeff grumbled on his bench seat, which was now covered in water that soaked through his jeans, freezing him.

"Troy, I swear to God, if you don't turn this goddamn boat around, I'm throwing you over," he threatened. He'd take over the controls himself, but he had even less of a clue as to how to operate that boat than Troy did.

"Just another hour, guys. Nessie doesn't just come out when you ask her to. You have to wait her out!" he exclaimed.  
The group sat in irritated silence as he killed the engine and they sat waiting, waiting, waiting for a mythical creature to emerge from the depths.

And then it started to rain. No, not rain. This was a torrential downpour the likes that none of them had ever experienced. Jeff briefly thought the amount of water getting in the Zodiac would sink them.

Then he spotted something in the distance: a long, stick like figure emerging from the deep. He squinted and could tell that it was just a log, but at this point, he figured Troy and Abed would be satisfied with that.

"Holy crap guys, look over there!" he exclaimed. Everyone's gaze turned to where he was pointing, a few gasps sounded from the group.

"It's her!" Troy exclaimed. Jeff wasn't sure if he actually thought it was, but the whole group seemed to be on the same page. They briefly celebrated the sighting (although Annie, the camera-bearer, refused to take it out and get it wet to photograph the event), before Troy finally gave in and restarted the boat, powering them back toward shore.

None of them ever mentioned the fact that they hadn't actually seen the Loch Ness Monster that day. It was a much cooler story if they all just went with it.

End

Prompt by zincrose: Annie gen: she was always going to leave Greendale behind, in one way or another. No shipping please; especially no Jeff.

* * *

**Moving On****  
****Rated G****  
**  
Annie frowned down at the application papers sprawled out on the table in front of her. After nearly four years at Greendale, it almost seemed like a shame to look as far away as Washington DC and Seattle for graduate programs, but she'd always known that she couldn't stay in Greendale forever. Her life and everything she wanted to accomplish in it obliged her to spread her wings and go beyond the walls of her community college that she'd come to call home, beyond the comfortable confines of the study group that she'd come to call family.

She'd always known it would come to this—but now that she was actually filling out the papers and paying the exorbitant application fees, it all seemed like too much too soon.

It was strange to her that she hadn't had similar feelings during her second year when she applied to City College. Then she was just leaving behind a convoluted version of a crappy college and a group of friends who she would probably miss a little bit. Nothing could have prepared her for the way they would grow together as the years wore on.

She thought about all that they had weathered together during their third year. Biology class had been more tumultuous than any of them could have predicted when they signed up. Professor Kane was intense to the point of being kind of scary, but he'd given her the best education she'd received in three years of college. That year had led to some of the craziest things she'd ever been through: living with two insane roommates, attempting to seduce a friend over Christmas, weddings, bad grades, expulsions, elaborate heists... there was so much, and through it all, she and her friends had all just grown closer and closer.

And now she was leaving.

She knew she had to do it. Her life began as soon as she was accepted to one of those universities. She would be a Health Care Manager, and she would have an impact on the lives of people who actually needed her. And who knows? Maybe she'd come back to Greendale to do it.

But in the meantime, she had to leave.

She signed her name at the bottom of the application, tucked it and her cheque into the envelope, and mailed it away.

She'd miss Greendale and everything it had given her. She hoped it would accept her back when she was ready to return.

End

* * *

Prompt by teruel_a_witch: J/A. (pre-relationship) Jeff comes a la Casa de Trobed. Annie opens the door...wearing Abed's t-shirt.(some silly reason) Jealousy and misunderstanding ensues.

**Fashion Faux Pas****  
****Rated PG****  
**  
Jeff knocked on Annie's door, then stepped back, took a breath and closed his eyes, trying to cool off after a particularly horrible day at his new law firm.

After the whole Alan incident, he'd gone out looking for another group to do contract work with. Fortunately, his reputation (the one for being a good defender) proceeded him and he was able to find a position with relative ease. Unfortunately, this also meant he was now working with some of the more morally stunted lawyers in the greater Riverside area.

He rocked back and forth on his feet. All day he'd been looking forward to this: sitting down with his good friends, having a beer, and forgetting about all of the crappy things he'd dealt with from 9-5.

And then Annie opened the door, and his eyes were immediately drawn downward. No, not because she was wearing one of her wonderful cleavage enhancing shirts, but because she was wearing a shirt he recognized… as being one of Abed's.

His mind went a mile a minute trying to make sense of Annie's current fashion choice. For some reason the only thing that kept coming up in the loop was "Annie, Abed, Abed's clothes, Annie's clothes, floor, sex, Annie, Abed."

He must have looked stunned, because Annie had to physically take him by the hand and lead him into the apartment.

"Are you alright?" she asked, with her typical sweet concern. Jeff's brain just continued the tirade, "Annie, Abed, Abed's clothes, Annie's clothes, floor, sex, Annie, Abed."

"You're wearing Abed's shirt," he blurted out. Annie looked down at herself, as if newly aware of this fact.

"Oh, yeah," she said. "How was work?"

"Why are you wearing Abed's shirt?" he pressed. Her brow furrowed.

"Why does it matter?"

"Are you guys… you know…?" he halfway blurted his primary question. Annie's eyes narrowed as she tried to think through that non-question.

"No, I don't know…" she eventually said. Jeff huffed, irritated.

"Are you wearing his shirt because you two are… you know?" he made some sort of criss-cross motion with his hands and Annie finally caught on.

"What?" she shrieked. "No! Of course not! My clothes are in the laundry." She swatted him on the chest for good measure. "God, don't you think we would have told you if we were…" she mimicked his motion. Jeff felt his face and neck go red, but also felt an overwhelming sense of relief.

"Oh, yeah, I guess," he stumbled. She eyed him critically for a moment before a small grin found her lips.

"You were jealous," she teased, poking him on the chest. Jeff scoffed.

"I was not," he attempted. She just giggled.

"You were jealous," she said in a sing song voice. Jeff rolled his eyes.

"Do you have any scotch in this place?"

End

* * *

Prompt by teruel_a_witch: At a bar Jeff spots a gorgeous brunette with curly hair from across the room who sits with her back to him. He walks up to hit on her but she turns around and it's Annie. The rest is up to you.

**Cheers****  
****Rated PG**

Jeff wasn't so much into the bar scene anymore, but his colleagues at his new firm had insisted he join them on this particular evening. Not wanting to come across as unapproachable, boring or whipped, he said yes, although his brain (and his liver) were screaming "NO!"

It wasn't so much that he didn't like going out for a drink now and again, but being at bars with guys like this brought along with it certain expectations. Each and every man in his group had put on their babe radar as soon as they entered the bar, and a few had already left with some of the more persuadable young women that frequented this establishment.

Jeff, for the most part, was content just to look around these days. Sure, he occasionally went home with someone—he was still a youngish, virile man after all—but it wasn't his MO anymore.

He let his eyes scan the bar. Too short, too blonde, too fake, too loud, too quiet, too much make-up, too little mak- up, too drunk, not drunk enough… and so his complaints continued.

Until his gaze landed on one woman's back.

Granted, backs weren't exactly Jeff's erogenous zone of choice (not that he would complain of a shapely arch and plains of smooth, elegant skin), but there was just something about this woman whose face he couldn't see. Her long dark hair had a bounce to it that he could tell was both carefully constructed, but not without some natural oomph as well. The way her waist dipped inward and her hips splayed out was so well defined, and although he couldn't see from behind, he knew she had to have a good pair of breasts on her as well—only women with something to show off sat up that straight.

"You should take that one home," said Jim, Jeff's new boss. Jeff shook his head.

"I don't think so," he argued. Jim nudged him.

"C'mon, Winger. Sack up!" Jeff hid his eye roll and eventually gave in. He was nothing if not susceptible to peer pressure.

He actually found a slight tingle of nerves make way into his stomach as he approached the beautiful-from-behind woman. He found himself eagerly anticipating finally getting a glimpse of her face.

And when he did, he realized that he wasn't even halfway surprised.

"Come here often?" he said in a low, raspy tone, complete with a smirk. His gaze was met with two sparkling blue eyes and a jubilant red-lipped smile.

"Not really, but I've clearly been missing out," she flirted back. He grinned and leaned down, giving her a small kiss on the cheek and leaned in to whisper in her ear.

"Do me a favour?" he asked. She nodded. "Let me take you home so my boss won't think I'm a huge loser?" Annie burst out laughing and leaned into him, playing up the moment.

"Only if you buy me a drink," she said with a glint in her eye. Jeff grinned.

"One Long Island Iced Tea coming right up."

End

* * *

Prompt by teruel_a_witch: Jeff and Annie shamelessly and innocently at the same time flirt on more than one occasion without realizing it until someone suggests they get a room. Awkwardness ensues.

**The Irritation of Flirtation****  
****Rated PG****  
**

**Greendale****  
**  
Annie was the last to slide into the bench at the group's table in the cafeteria, carefully slipping her lunch tray into the small amount of space left on the corner of the table across from Jeff.

"Cucumber sandwich and fries?" Jeff questioned. She shrugged, picking up her juice box and pulling the straw from its plastic wrapper, poking it into the slot.

"I'm trying to be more healthy," she said, taking one of the fries. Jeff smirked.

"And grease-fried potato is the way to go about doing that?" he asked, reaching across the table and snatching a fry. Annie scoffed.

"Hey, if you want to keep enjoying my fries free of charge, you're going to have to can the comments," she said with a hint of a grin. Jeff raised an eyebrow.

"Oh? And exactly what form of payment were you looking for, Milady?" he asked. She pretended to think about it.

"I'll have to get back to you on that—but trust me that it'll be far worse than shelving your witticisms for one lunch hour."

Fully embroiled in their back-and-forth, both Jeff and Annie missed the rolling eyes and glares they were receiving from the group.

**Later that Night**

"Jeff!" Annie exclaimed, nearly crawling up his body as he held her cell phone high above his head. "Give it!" she cried.

"Give it!" Jeff mimicked, laughing at his own incredible wit.

"I'm serious!" she exclaimed, clawing at his shoulders trying to get some leverage. The two carried on like this, oblivious to the irritated glares they were receiving, until finally Britta spoke up.

"Oh for Christ's sake, would you two get a room already!" she exclaimed. Jeff and Annie paused with their bodies smushed awkwardly together and Jeff's arm high in the air.

"What?" Annie asked, confused. Shirley jumped in.

"Aside from taking the Lord's name in vain, I'm with Britta," she said.

"Yeah," Troy jumped in. "Either bone or shut up!"

The pair gaped at the group.

And then they realized their current positions and had to consider the possibility that they might have a point.

End

* * *

Prompt by lsw700: In Origins of Vampire Mythology, Shirley finds Pierce at the Carnival and they go on some rides.

**The Replacements****  
****Rated PG**

Shirley grumbled to herself as she stalked away from Jeff, arms full of stuffed animals that her boys would in no way be interested in.

She liked being friends with Jeff. He was usually good fun to gossip with, and they really did seem to 'get' each other on a deeper level than most of their friends... but sometimes he just went too far. He was prone to bouts of insanity, and when those came along, he was nearly impossible to be around.

Case in point: stalking and monopolizing the time of a Carnie just because he had some sort of vague 'it factor' that made women obsess over him.

Shirley could only take so much of Crazy Jeff, so she took off to find Pierce. She knew it was a sad day in her life when she preferred the company of a racist old man over one of her favourite friends. That knowledge was unsettling to her.

She happened upon the racist old man in question sitting alone on a park bench, looking utterly gutted.

"What happened to Chang?" she asked, and then looked around to ensure that the man in question wasn't about to pop out from behind a balloon animal.

"He left me," Pierce choked out. "Probably found some cool new friends to hang out with." His voice held no small hint of anger. Shirley thought about that, and then shook her head.

"I doubt that." Pierce looked up, taking in the loot she was carrying.

"Where's Winger? Did he find another man's butt to stick his wiener in?" Shirley raised an eyebrow. "Because he's gay," he clarified. She rolled her eyes, but opted not to answer his question, instead looking to her left at the ferris wheel. Jeff was way too preoccupied to go on it with her, but Pierce seemed just lonely enough to consider it.

Good Lord, what had her life become?

"Did you... umm..."

"UMM!" Pierce interrupted. She shot him a glare. "Sorry, force of habit."

"Pierce," she said in a steady tone. "Would you like to ride the ferris wheel with me?" He thought about this a moment.

"Is 'ferris wheel' code for sex?" She rolled her eyes.

"Forget it," she said, beginning to walk away.

"Wait, Shirley," he called. She stopped in her tracks. "Would you mind if I... joined you?" He seemed uncharacteristically timid. Shirley momentarily felt bad for the old man. She closed the gap and dropped a few of the stuffed animals down on the bench, holding her now free hand out to him.

"Come on, old man," she offered. "Let's go get in line."

End


End file.
